Michael Lee Barlin.com
Writer / Director / Producer
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Fresh Voices Screenplay Competition Feedback

Posted by Michael Lee Barlin.com on December 10, 2010 at 4:06 AM

Though the finalists and winners have yet to be announced for the 2010 Fresh Voices Screenplay Competition (www.fresh-voices.com), I just received my feedback/coverage from the competiton, which was quite amazing-- especially considering I did an additional rewrite of the script after some great feedback from Bob Tzudiker (screenwriter for The Lion King, Tarzan, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Anastasia, etc) who called the script 'A very marketable idea and a fun, fast read,' so the version of the script Fresh Voices read has been improved even more since they've read it.

 

And I'm now doing another small but significant rewrite thanks to the wonderful feedback I got from Fresh Voices.   Here is a selection of their response to the script:

 

'Hi Michael, Thanks for an adorable, fun, and action-packed script! I really enjoyed reading it and can definitely see it making a good children’s animated movie. The story is super cute and engaging. You used every possible turkey pun and they all worked. It was funny and entertaining all the way through.

 

Structurally it was great; you have a strong grasp of three-act structure. The story was always clear and easy to follow. Your characters were awesome and you did a great job of giving all the turkeys’ unique personalities and roles in the story. A film about a bunch of turkeys that all have names beginning with “T” could have been a confusing nightmare, but you clearly knew all of your turkeys inside and out and made sure we did too. Fantastic job!

 

This script is awesome, so my notes are very nitpicky...   your Act III is completely packed and overflowing with excitement and Act I opens with a bang...

 

Overall, you’ve got a brilliant writing sample here with the potential to be a broad, commercially appealing film with strong market value. While Hollywood can be adverse to making animated films with similar characters to those already done, I hope the difference between chickens (Chicken Run) and turkeys is enough as this would make a wonderful film and a great Thanksgiving Day release! Awesome job! I loved it.'

 

Thanks Fresh Voices for the great coverage and constructive feedback!  I look forward to hearing who the winners are!

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